The gold that is in the nose
December 18th, 2007 2:47 pm | HAHAHA, more than words | anandsaha | 131 Views|
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Since yesterday, the top left portion of my nose
has been hosting a chunk of bionic gold, and no
matter how hard i try, have not been able to dig
that out.
However, I must admit that the process of digging
nose, and extracting the find, and rolling it
between the index finger and thumb, surely provides
pleasure that surpasses most of the daily mundane
pleasures that we otherwise seek out.
This is partly, I believe, due to tickling of the
nasal senses when detachment occurs between the inner
walls of nose and the mucus-bonded gold particles.
The other part of the source for pleasure is the
smoothing of air-flow through the nasal passage,
which provides a non-obstructive channel between
outer atmosphere and inner cavities, namely the
lungs.
A third, although very remote and rare reason, stems
from the realization that the ‘unwanted stuff’ is
no longer attached to our body. However, humans who
undergo training in hostels tend to become numb to
the cleanliness factor by the second month of their
stay. Hence this particular reason has very little
influence on the pleasure factor.
Once should take extra precaution while digging nose
in office, because the very nature of this activity
makes humans forget of their surroundings and make them
insensitive to external gazes. This can cause damage
to reputation, or earn him/her a nickname which would
otherwise haunt the self for rest of his/her stay on
earth.
It should be mentioned that nose digging is a skill,
and the most appropriate tool for it would be a finger
with nails longer than 3 mm. This helps in the dig
and excavation. But apart from this, no sharp instrument
should be used, as it might lead to blood leakage.
So niche is the subject that one finds expert nose-diggers in
various parts of India, sitting on footpaths, ready
to dig gold on self’s behalf, for an amount. Such skilled
work force is available only in India - traditionally.
Those who love nose digging should stay away from clean
air, and be in dusty atmosphere. This expedites gold
formation.
The eagerness to extract might make one harm the
sensitive and soft inner linings of the nose. Hence
due care needs to be taken. The author proposes a one
week course for 6 year olds in every school towards
nose-digging training.
Apart from rolling the gold between figures, the other
route that nasal-gold evangelists take to dispose off the
gold is to rub their gold attached finger against remote
corners of walls, furnitures, cloths, window grills,
doors and windows etc.
But none of these help me with the gold that has deposited
in the top left portion of the inner walls of my nose.
Let me get back to work.
Gold … here I come ..
Anand
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December 19th, 2007 at 10:59 pm
Ode to the nasal finger!
Very descriptive, quite disgusting, and honestly disturbing.