India rama ka mi ngaihsan zinga mi Pritish Nandy ziah “Why I love Mumbai” hi han chhiar ve teh u. Ngaihnawm in tih ve ka ring. Hmana thil ka sawi pakhat, “Mumbai ah zu in in duh chuan permit in neih a ngai” ka tih kha awihlo tam tak in awma, mahse a ni tlat sia lawm. Permit nei lova zu i in emaw zu i lei chuan police in an man thei che a sin!!! Dan maktak chu a ni ve. Mumbai hi khawpui nuam lutuk anga ngai pawh in awm nual ka ring… mahse a hrehawm zia chu he article hian chiang takin a rawn sawi e… A vai in ka rawn copy paste tawp… Sarcastic hle a ni.
Why I love Mumbai – Pritish Nandy Source: Times of India
Well, to begin with, you can’t smoke here, neither a fag nor a joint. Cigarettes are banned at most places. Joints, everywhere, barring prison where you can buy them openly. Now you can’t drink as well. Not unless you are 18 with a licence. You can’t go to a bar and watch pretty girls dance. That’s banned too, even if they dance the Kathakali. The more exciting dancing girls have long gone. Their kothas have shut down. Sahir’s sorrowful poems have died with them. Bling shops have hijacked the red light district.
Eating out late is not permissible. Last orders are at 11. Even with a licence you can’t drink after 1. Lady Gaga can’t come because concerts shut down at 10 even if you take 342 days to get all 137 permits required. If you marry at 17 you get rapped for rape. If you neck by the sea. Dhoble’s goon squad will beat you with hockey sticks for immoral conduct. (Cops can however pick up college girls on Marine Drive and rape them in the chowky at will.)
Our CMs with a long dhobi list of scams can whoosh into the Taj with a cavalcade. You and I must wait in queue till our chaddis are checked. Wherever we go, our chaddis are checked because every hotel, restaurant, mall and Government office suspects we carry bombs between our testicles. Bombs? Moustache trimming scissors and pickles are banned on flights. As for gun licences, no one’s allowed one ever since Mallika’s duh brother tried to teach Mahesh Bhatt’s son how to fire one and missed his hapless neighbour. The cops won’t help you either, even if your life is threatened. So you sit at home, waiting for some idiot to come and kill you because they can’t find anything worth stealing in your flat.
And why can’t they find anything worth stealing? Because after paying so many taxes, no one has any money left to steal. Never look closely at your bill in a 5 star restaurant. You may get a cardiac arrest seeing the taxes and duties slapped on. And, when you recover, you will get another one seeing the hospital bill. If you enter Mumbai by road, you have to pay octroi on all that you bring in, even if it’s your own. If you are a Muslim, you won’t get a flat to stay in. If you eat meat, Malabar Hill won’t have you. If you are a Hindu, Byculla won’t. And if you are young and unmarried, no one will. If you have a pet, it gets worse.
Muslims have got Satanic Verses banned. Hindus have banned Husain. So no gallery dares to show the art of the city’s greatest son. You can’t show sculptures with genitals, not even Michaelangelo’s David, though you can see any number of genitals on the streets where people openly pee. You can’t watch The Dirty Picture on 9 pm TV. That’s outlawed though it won Vidya the National Award and every kid has loved it. You are lucky Donald Duck ain’t banned because comics and cartoons in text books are banned. My Savita Bhabhi is too. So are, sneakily, many websites.
You can’t call friends home because after they’ve gone, guys from the local police will come and demand a bribe. You can’t keep 3 whisky bottles at home or carry Rs 20,001 in cash even if your mother’s sick and may need sudden hospitalisation. No hospitals take you in without cash, or allow you out even as a corpse. You can’t fly into Mumbai with an iPad. The Customs demand duty even if it’s your own. If you carry in personal stuff worth Rs 26,000, which is $400 today (and could well be $100 tomorrow) you must pay duty and penalty. They have announced that the punishment will soon be stiffer. Maybe they will hang you for it.
There are no open air street cafes. No dance bars. No nightlife. Even Voodoo’s shut down. A few asphixiated trees gasp for breath. There are no sparrows left. You can’t see stars at night. All we see are vast crowds of people rushing nowhere. Footpaths have vanished. So has free speech and live music. The State eavesdrops on your sex chats, be it on phone, chat, BBM or social networking sites. Try courier pigeons.
Welcome to Mumbai. I simply love it.
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June 12th, 2012 at 12:44 pm
I love Mumbai
Ka va first chiang tak. Khawnge maw in awm zawh vek le??? Inkhel en ho hi zan lamah in meng vak a, chhunah in mu leh hlawm ani pek ang…hahahaha
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June 12th, 2012 at 12:48 pm
Post chhiar tawh ang
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June 12th, 2012 at 12:55 pm
I don’t like Mumbai. It’s rather dirty, crowded and noisy.
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June 12th, 2012 at 1:19 pm
Mumbai-ah hian ni 5 chhung chiah ka cham. Ka zinlai ber kher khan a lum zual lai a ni a, ka ning hman khawp mai…
Mumbai ai chuan Pune nuam ka ti, Pune ai chuan Bangalore a nuam leh zual… 
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June 12th, 2012 at 1:30 pm
Bangalore aiin Bangkok a nuam leh zual. Bangkok aiin Brussels a nuam lehzual.
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June 12th, 2012 at 1:36 pm
Brussels aiin Coimbatore a nuam leh zual
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June 12th, 2012 at 1:38 pm
A dik vek chuan a va lo mak tak ve!
Mahsé thil chu a la kawi ve fein ka hria, ve mai maia.
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June 12th, 2012 at 1:46 pm
A lungwi lohna phuh chhuak ve vk mai ni maw….
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June 12th, 2012 at 1:48 pm
@ houdini – aw, thil chu a exaggerate ve nual a ni, mahse a dik pawh a tam. Zu in chungchang pawh, a chang chang chauhvin police in permit min dil thin, a tlangpui chuan an ti ngailo. Lehlam min en san mai mai thin. Mahse pub vela raid an neih te hian he dan hlui lutuk hi an rawn phawrhchhuak leh thin a… an tan chuan hmanrua tha tak a ni a sin.
Bakah a rawn sawiselna tamtak khi chu midang (neighbours etc) tih buailoh nan a nia, discipline chu a ngai ve tho a lawm. Zing dar ruk thleng apartment a party vak vak chu a nuam hle na in, thenawmte tan chuan ninawm ve tak chu a nia lawm. Khatah khan police rawn kal ta se, tu thiamloh nge? Police te chu ka dem hauhlo. Hei pawh hi khawpui dangah pawh a ni ve tho, Mumbai chauh a nilo.
Mahse tax leh octroi a tih khi chu a dik lutuk. Mumbai a awm chuan tax kan van chawi hnem tak em. In luah man a to bawk si, khua a chep bawk si, zu man a to bawk si, traffic jam reng bawk, zan lai dar 12 a office bang pawn kawng thenkhatah chuan traffic a la jam thin! hehe a rapthlak lutuk…
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June 12th, 2012 at 2:01 pm
Taliban lal laia Kabul khawpui an sawi min ti hrechhuak. Ram zalen khawpui tia koh a har ngawt ang.
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June 12th, 2012 at 2:20 pm
Coimbatore aiin New Delhi…
zan lai dar 12 a office bang pawn kawng thenkhatah chuan traffic a la jam thin! hehe a rapthlak lutuk..
Keini ve, dar 11 hnulama haw hi chuan, kawngpui a reh duak hi a khawharthlak mah zawk asin.. 
Zan khat phei chu, Juhu beach kamah khan taxi ka zawng kual hrep. Ka hriat chhun, Meru cab ka phone lahin, ‘taxi booked lawk sa vek a ni’ an ti bawk si…
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June 12th, 2012 at 2:28 pm
Ka la kal miah lo…
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June 12th, 2012 at 2:34 pm
Mumbai chu ka la kal ve lova, a sawi khi tak tak anih chuan ipad pawh ken chi a ni lo anih khi,lolz, mak hle mai.
Mumbai te ang mega city, mihring pawh million 20 chuang zet chenna angah chuan dan khauh taka lekkawh a tulna chin pawh a awm ve ang..a sawi zawng zawng khi mimal ‘point of view’ ah lo ngaihsak ta ila, tax leh customs chungchang tih loah khi chuan nunphung pangngai ti hrehawm leh delh chep lutuk tur thil awm vakin ka hre lo. Sumdawnna leh entertainment lamah pawh India Khawpui Number One a ni reng thoa, khawpui dang tam tak ai chuan inbenbel nan ala tlak zawk hmel.
Chuan para 6 na- “You can’t call friends home because after they’ve gone, guys from the local police will come and demand a bribe” tih khi ka awih lo. A dawt leh chiah sentence pawh khi a dikhlel deuh chuan ka hria , tin nute damlo leh whiskey bottle 3 inzawmna khi ka hrethiam phak tlatlo bawk
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June 12th, 2012 at 2:37 pm
Lal Isua a la nei lo atin anih kha. Lal Isua nen hi chuan khawi hmun pawh vanram tlafual a lo ani
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June 12th, 2012 at 2:40 pm
#14 dik chiah
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June 12th, 2012 at 3:16 pm
@ Charice – “You can’t call friends home because after they’ve gone, guys from the local police will come and demand a bribe.” – Hei chu a dik a lawm. Zan rei fe hnu a thiante rawn leng hi kan society (Mumbai ah chuan Apartment pangngai tawh chin, area tha ve deuh a awm chu “Society” an ti veka) in an phallova, chuan in bengchheng loh pawn, zing khawvar dawna an haw kha police in an hmuh chuan “public disturbance” angin an hek thei tho che u. Ka thiante pawn bribe chu an pe nual tawh, zing dar 3-4 velah an thiante an in atanga an haw police in an lo hmuh avangin.
“You can’t keep 3 whisky bottles at home” – Hei pawh hi a dik a lawm. Nichina permit ka sawi kha, a permit i neih hnu pawn kar khatah 2 units ai a tam zu i lei theihlo! 1 unit chu 750 ml (hard liquor) emaw 1500 ml (wine) emaw 2600 ml (beer) a ni. Chung tiang bawkin i in ah 3 units ai a tam zu a kawl theihloh, permit neih pawn. Permit neih loh phei phei chuan zu engmah a kawl theihloh bur. He dan hi 1940′s a an siam a ni e, India independence hma in. Hairehai…
“or carry Rs 20,001 in cash” aw, he dan pawh a awm. Sing 2 aia tam pawisa a ken theihloh… he dan an siam na chhan ber chu smugglers, underworld leh black money do nan a nia, mahse mi tamtak pawn an tuar ve phah ta ni. Mahse he dan hi Mumbai ah chauh a nilo ka hriat sual loh chuan…
“even if your mother’s sick and may need sudden hospitalisation.” hei chu tlem in a rawn sawi uar ve deuh a nih hi, for dramatic effect
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June 12th, 2012 at 3:23 pm
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June 12th, 2012 at 3:49 pm
@ sandman, thanks for the clarification..you’re the best
Mahse ka’n ti hram teh ang, a rawn sawi tum khi chu ka hrethiam renga, ka’n skeptic luih nachhan pawh a thuhman a uluk lo plus a sentence khi a ‘vague’ ka tih vang a nia..”you can’t call friends home…” ti ringawt lo khian “you’re not at liberty to call friends home at late hours because if they’re found sneaking away from your apartment at the dead of the night, or at dawnbreak, even mutely and without a hiss of noise, it is absurdly considered a disturbance to the public..te rawn ti tal se, lolz, ToI ah te meuh a chhuah ve bawk sia, tin chutiang avanga police bribe an ngai ziah chuan ngaihtuah a ti thui deuh. Vairam police hi chuan engemaw hlekah bribe an beisei nghal zel ni mai hian ka hria, an tenawm ngawt mai.
Chuan whiskey chungchang khi chu engmah hriat ka nei velo, i sawi khi ka pawm vek
.
Cash chungchang khi chu sawinawn vak ngai pawn ka hrelo, Mumbai te ang khawpui ‘changkang’ lutukah te chuan cash ai chuan atm/credit card hman uar zawk tawh awm tak ania. Pawisa faia kawl teuh te chu khawi hmunah mah a him tawh hleinem mawle
PS: Bal Thackeray-a vawk lal lenna ram Mumbai ah hian kei zawng ka awm chak lem love
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June 12th, 2012 at 3:49 pm
@ sandman, thanks for the clarification..you’re the best
Mahse ka’n ti hram teh ang, a rawn sawi tum khi chu ka hrethiam renga, ka’n skeptic luih nachhan pawh a thuhman a uluk lo plus a sentence khi a ‘vague’ ka tih vang a nia..”you can’t call friends home…” ti ringawt lo khian “you’re not at liberty to call friends home at late hours because if they’re found sneaking away from your apartment at the dead of the night, or at dawnbreak, even mutely and without a hiss of noise, it is absurdly considered a disturbance to the public..te rawn ti tal se, lolz, ToI ah te meuh a chhuah ve bawk sia, tin chutiang avanga police bribe an ngai ziah chuan ngaihtuah a ti thui deuh. Vairam police hi chuan engemaw hlekah bribe an beisei nghal zel ni mai hian ka hria, an tenawm ngawt mai.
Chuan whiskey chungchang khi chu engmah hriat ka nei velo, i sawi khi ka pawm vek
.
Cash chungchang khi chu sawinawn vak ngai pawn ka hrelo, Mumbai te ang khawpui ‘changkang’ lutukah te chuan cash ai chuan atm/credit card hman uar zawk tawh awm tak ania. Pawisa faia kawl teuh te chu khawi hmunah mah a him tawh hleinem mawle
PS: Bal Thackeray-a vawk lal lenna ram Mumbai ah hian kei zawng ka awm chak lem love
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June 12th, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Sandman-an Mumbai a ngeina chhan tam tak zing a pakhat:
Dry day awm leh thut ṭhin te leh engemaw te te
hairehai 
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June 12th, 2012 at 4:10 pm
He thil hi lo chhiar ve chhin ve mai2 teh u….
https://timesofindia.indiatimes.....043665.cms
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June 12th, 2012 at 4:32 pm
Aizawl chanchin ziah ve ava chakawm ve..
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June 12th, 2012 at 4:34 pm
#22
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June 12th, 2012 at 5:10 pm
Lal-charice (
) dilchhut azarah ka bengvar ta sawt mai… 
Tin, zu in/kawl chungchang khi a fiah tha khawp mai… 
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June 12th, 2012 at 5:16 pm
Mumbai in tih hi ka la hmu ve lo..
a nuam lo ngawt ang a 
sandman a lalna ram ania, hei vanga post pawh anih hmel.
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June 12th, 2012 at 5:26 pm
@lrp.. Mumbai tih takah, a lu ‘Mum’ satliah thlengin ‘Baia’ min ti vek a, ninawm tawp…
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June 12th, 2012 at 5:30 pm
Dr.Mahming, han in ei mam keng kawn la, sandmana ang deuh in..an sir chur chur mai ang che,,haha
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June 12th, 2012 at 5:34 pm
#27…
Pu Hv-a,a buaithlak thei a nia…
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June 12th, 2012 at 5:34 pm
Dr Mahminga Sailo #26 in inang viau elaw?
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June 12th, 2012 at 5:48 pm
Ka awm ve lo chu ka va lawm e..
A ziaktupa hi thu thiam tak chu a nih ve reng reng hi a. 
Thalai te’n kan chep chu an ti ve lem lo chu a ni phawt ang a(h).
tren tren
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June 12th, 2012 at 5:53 pm
A la kal ve lo tan chuan a thupui hi tawmpui a har ngei mai
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June 12th, 2012 at 6:12 pm
“Why i love mumbai”.. kei ngei pawh hian vawi hnih chu Mumbai khawpui veina lam hi ka lo auchhuah pui tawh.. a vawihnihna zawk chu Victoria Terminus hming thlak chungchang leh a kaihhnawih a nia, chhiar ve duh te in lo awm takin a hnuaia link hi (mahse English-in ania)
https://www.tharax.blogspot.in/.....y-www.html
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June 12th, 2012 at 10:48 pm
Nia i ziah chu ka lo chhiar tawh pu Tharax. Chuan i nick i thlak daih a ni maw?
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June 12th, 2012 at 11:07 pm
@Sandman: Hehe.. i thuziah/ post vel hi chhiar a nuam a (largely ur blog), impression hnuchhiah kher lo mah ila ka lo chhiar ve zel alwm.. misual pwh hi comment kher lova a thlira thlir tu ka nia chuvang chuan ka nick pawh i hre kher lo nih kha
Neways, Mumbai hi chuan i rilru chu a luah hneh ve ngawtin ka hria. Kei pwh mumbai nuam ka tihna ber cu.. watever, it has its own spirit.. to reinvent itself (kan ti twp teh ang).
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June 13th, 2012 at 12:12 am
You love Mumbai and her DISC… :pil hman:
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June 13th, 2012 at 12:15 am
A lum hiam huam si, thil to si. Keni ang neih neilo tan awmve na chi a ni love.
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