I know I’m not dreaming. And it’s really happening. Though the days may seem dreary and boring I still have within me a glimmer of hope. A hope that pushes me towards tomorrow. Though uncertain it may be, yet it seems so clear. The shadows that follow me night and day, do they mean to make my life shallow and hollow? Every bit of my thoughts and aspirations is now fading like a dying ember. But it seems so clear, so vivid as if it was standing right before my very eyes. But what is standing before me, I know not.
I live my life as it comes, and sometmes it is so aimless. The night is young and I can’t see as darkness surrounds me; before the break of dawn may be I’ll sing a new song; and I know that I’ve been down this road before. This highway of sadness where everything stands still even in a hurricane. Like a lost soul not knowing where to turn to or who to turn to I keep on rolling, rambling and never settle down. May be when the Creator did his bit on me, may be, I was meant to roam and never settle down.
I never knew lonely. I mean I have seen her from the back. I have never really seen her face. I’ve heard people say her name and talk about her here and there in the most inappropriate times and places. Yes, I knew her name but I never really knew her. But now I know. I know I can’t go on living with her leaning on my shoulder. I’m lonely. And she doesn’t even know about it.
At times when I think about leaving this old, weary world for the land beyond the river I feel kind of naive for I really do not know what is to become of me. I know I’ll sing with the angels. But I’m not sure if I want to go or not. I can’t stand, bearing in mind, walking away from what could have been the gift of life. I don’t want to leave this blessed world before disclosing this feeling I’m feeling for her. She’s young. I’m young. She may be too young to understand. I may be too young to make her understand. Lord! come down from your throne and get me out of this mess!
There was a time when I could see her almost everyday. She would come walking down the steps by using those two beautiful legs that befit that beautiful smile, that suit that astounding character that very man would love to call his own. Like a rose in the midst of a thorny bush she would bring happiness to all beings she comes across. I’m scared inside my mind that someone else might steal her away before I could tell the world of my love for her. I know that in my heart of hearts there is no one else but her. Little did she know that I loved her so. And I still do. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. But it’s a secret. A secret that I intend not to reveal, but which will be revealed whether I like it or not.
This world is not getting any younger. And the same thing applies to me. And she’ll be all grown up before I know it. And I have to tell her. No, I can’t, not just yet. Hmm… hmm… it’s so easy to fall in love.
Hank Williams
(1.10.2003 Kolasib)
March 29th, 2007 at 11:00 am
a sei bok c…ka tong hman thiam ve loh a la ni zui… comment dan tur pawh ka hre uk lo ve… haha
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