Do you remember asking me whether I loved you? We were sitting on one of the many benches they kept in the park under a tree. The sound of the birds fiercely flapping their wings among the bushes under which we sat, and the sound of the honking cars in a distant echoed in my ears today, as I found myself reminiscing the past – our past. You wrapped your arms around me, buried your face in my chest and for a thousand times, we kissed. You, then looked up at me and asked me whether I loved you.
You knew it so well then, that you were not going to hear what you wanted to hear. Yes, there in the park, I told you that I was still confused about love, that I liked you a lot, I care about you a lot but to say that ‘I love you’, I just couldn’t do it. I knew that it was stupid, might even be dumb to be so straightforward as to let you know how confused I was. But, I did.
Then, you sat straight; looked away and kept a deaf ear to my confessions. I tried to explain to you how difficult it was for me to say those three words. Maybe I overrated ‘love’ itself. But, to love someone, to me, is never to let them go, to hold them tight even when things fall apart, to be there all the time until eternity reigns! It was not a simple thing to me. But, you didn’t understand. Well, I don’t blame you for that.
But, I did wish you had understood it. I was just too scared to commit myself into something that I really didn’t understand. And the fact that we were only students, young and irresponsible, who couldn’t even support ourselves added more uncertainties to my confusion. I couldn’t see myself holding on to you for ten years or more. I knew things were going to change. I knew that the flapping sounds of those birds would fade one day and the honking vehicles would stop. So, I told you that I wanted to keep our relationship simple. Yet, you didn’t want to listen to me.
I knew that it might not make a big difference even if I told you that I loved you. We were like any other lovers. It was only about admitting it, saying out loud. I will never understand how spoken words speak louder than action. Maybe, I was just another confused brat, who couldn’t even say what my actions showed all the time. That night, my perplexed mind wouldn’t let me to sleep. I lay awake throughout the night and did the most stupid thing ever the next morning, ‘cause I was afraid. I texted you.
They said you cried. Well I didn’t cry but my heart wept. I reached for my phone so many times to call you, but, this egoistic mind stopped me every time from calling you, from saying that it was all my misconception, my fault, my bad. So, our so called relationship ended on that cold December morning.
Since then, I’d often thought about the kisses and laughter, the sweet times and the fights that we had. So, today, as I’m sitting on my chair in the balcony of this small room, looking at the sun, getting closer to the horizon, I realized that you are the one true love I’ve ever really had. God ! I missed you !
If you ever read this note, you would probably think that I’ve gone crazy and lost my mind. Call me a fool, call me a loser, I know I am. The sun has disappeared below the horizon, but, it will come up again and shine for the whole world to see. I had made my sun disappear, will it ever shine upon me again?
(Sap tawnga thuziak hi kan ngaina vak lo na a, rilru-ah a lang miau sia, lo hrethiam hram teh u- J)
March 18th, 2011 at 11:37 am
E khai aw, Duhlian tawng bak thiam ve lo chu kan bo map mai le.
A tha hrim hrim e.
…khrum
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March 18th, 2011 at 11:43 am
khumchikthei hi chu chhiar tel lo phawt ang..
Mi engzatin nge sawisel tih vel mai mai kan chhiar ang vawiin chu..ngah nge zing thang thangah lung a han len teh reng! 
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March 18th, 2011 at 12:05 pm
khumchikthei kan lehlin sak ang che aw
Do you remember asking me whether I loved you?
Tuin emaw ni hmana a hmangaih em tih a zawhna kha tu emaw a zawt anih hi.
NOI
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March 18th, 2011 at 12:07 pm
ABC ka vawnna kha a rei ve ta deuh a, sipel chawp chuan chhiar chhung a rei duh hle mai. Ni e, hmangaih ber te nen a inthen hi chu a na an ti thin a ni lawm ni kha….
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March 18th, 2011 at 12:10 pm
A hrethiam ve lo te tan pu muantea ten rawn let sela a tha ang ka ti.
…khrum
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March 18th, 2011 at 12:23 pm
a ngaihnawm khawp mai a….true story a nih duh hmel e…
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March 18th, 2011 at 12:29 pm
ekhai,a lungkuai hle mai.2day chu khua chhe bok sia,nangchu chu i lungleng bik don hle mai maw.van inang loh theih v.kur2.i thiam e chhiar a nuam dap2 khop mai,min ziahkep angah ngai hmaks maiang o
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March 18th, 2011 at 12:47 pm
I know where to bury my face compromisingly on her body!
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March 18th, 2011 at 12:48 pm
Wow…nice one..
(english a comment tur nge mizotonga kawmen tur?? ahihi..)
Wel, i say, u’re so right in not telling her that u love her, which anyway wud nt b true.. We often mistook affection for love…
Abt the post, beli beli ngaihnom..
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March 18th, 2011 at 12:51 pm
Beli beli ngaihnawm…_:)
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March 18th, 2011 at 1:05 pm
#8
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March 18th, 2011 at 1:33 pm
… all I wanna do is find a way back into love..
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March 18th, 2011 at 1:52 pm
Nice. Very well written. The last two sentences are soooo touching.
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March 18th, 2011 at 1:57 pm
Will read it as soon as i have time
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March 18th, 2011 at 2:36 pm
Aw, hmeichhe lawmna a hoh tehreng nen han ‘I love you’ ve lawk mai la tha tur. Tunah i duh leh bawk sia, i lawmpuiawm lap lap hle mai.
. Chhas te chu, a hnuhnung apiang hi lo ‘i love u’ hmiah hmiah tur. Ho lutuk. This is life.
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March 18th, 2011 at 2:42 pm
me chhiar nwn tlut2,me very tah chhuak.
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March 18th, 2011 at 3:36 pm
Ka chhiar peih love.
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March 18th, 2011 at 3:50 pm
cfl,han chhiar ve reng2 la,ngaihnawm phiah asin.
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March 18th, 2011 at 4:02 pm
post tupa, a mizo version ka rawn paste dawn i phal em?
…khrum
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March 18th, 2011 at 4:13 pm
#15, fugi,
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March 18th, 2011 at 5:02 pm
‘I Love you’ han tih mai hi chu a zia deuh, duhlian tawnga ‘Ka hmangaih che’han intih hi chu a ril deuh a ni ang, a har ka ti riau kei pawh
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March 18th, 2011 at 8:40 pm
ti khawpa tuar leh tur leh midang tawrhna thlen bawk si chuan ‘Yes, I do’ han ti pawh mai la tha tur nia….. a awmzia hre si lova a KAWNG i zawh chiam mai hi i thiamlohna chu anih hmel…. hai re hai
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March 18th, 2011 at 9:08 pm
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March 18th, 2011 at 9:22 pm
I dont think the way you feel for her is Love ……….maybe its just an attraction.. if you love her that much then why dont you even try to hold on to her? you cant even utter that simple 3 letter word ot her?..love is not about pride..if you love someone truely…you wont think about ur pride….
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March 18th, 2011 at 9:22 pm
I dont think the way you feel for her is Love ……….maybe its just an attraction.. if you love her that much then why dont you even try to hold on to her? you cant even utter that simple 3 letter word to her?..love is not about pride..if you love someone truely…you wont think about ur pride….
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March 18th, 2011 at 9:32 pm
kya hain pyar…baby don’t hurt him no more
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March 19th, 2011 at 12:27 am
..HEHE..
naupang tete in nih hi..love love love ti reng mai! tap pir per rawh u!
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March 19th, 2011 at 4:18 am
He post zet chu, ka lo in ngaihbel alawm le..true story anih ngat chuan posttupa ka hriat thiam pui khawp a che..I still miss her too….
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