Ode to the Nice Guys

February 7th, 2007 12:43 pm by BlackWhite

I guess you “misual” ladies know who these nice guys are. I know because I “once” was and sadly, still am. Back in college, I remember whining/talking about the “asshole” guys this lady is talking about. Damn! where are ladies like these, who empathize so well with guys like us?

I love this part though. This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner.

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
Rant from the Wharton Undergraduate Journal.

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18 Responses to “Ode to the Nice Guys”

  1. 1
    SiLent_Man Says:

    Nice one. Min ziah chhan deuhin ka hria a ka hming a lang chiah bok silo a.

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  2. 2
    J Says:

    Great write-up. I’ll drink to it. Thanks for posting it here BW…..doesnt take much to figure out why you did.

    But it’s not true that nice guys finish last. If you know only girls who consistently give you the elbow because you’re a nice guy, well you need to open out your social circle bigtime because girls like that are usually v v v immature types. Of course if you happen to like only teen or pre-teen type girls, that’s your hard luck.

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  3. 3
    Anonymous Says:

    And most girls wanna stay 18 till they die… bulsit!

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  4. 4
    Goldmember Says:

    hah BW good one! i know EXACTLY how you feel.. ill shall write about in autobiography later.

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  5. 5
    HJ Says:

    BlackWhite are u a nice guy??? :D

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  6. 6
    Sandman Says:

    Damnnnnnnn! How true indeed! *masculine sniff sniff*

    C’est la vie, brothers, c’est la vie. It’s either that, or we’re labeled as jerks.

    But my small observation: In the short run, nice guys usually finish last, but in the long run, they definitely don’t. Look at my Engg college mates. 5 years after graduation, all the “cool dudes” who had all the hottest babes in their arms during College are now pushing a shoddy job as a Pizza Corner table boy or something like that, while all the nerds whom the girls never used to speak to are now all crorepatis, receiving hundreds of marraige proposals from absolute stunners and beauties.

    J’s right. If the girl you care for so much as a true friend and never take advantage of, fail to see the true value of your sincerity, then, bah, it’s time to move to on to a new circle…

    Infact I personally know many girls who fell head over heels for the silent knights in shining armour, and picked them above all the “woooow chk out that doood” guys.

    Love this part! :-D

    There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

    hehehehe….

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  7. 7
    Be A Man Says:

    the part where you said “perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should” …. there are only two reasons: (1) Your a GEEK & Ugly OR (2) You feel numbers doesn’t matter

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  8. 8
    J Says:

    BW is a very nice guy. Except when he gets sloshed. Then he morphs into a jawbone ;)

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  9. 9
    HOMER Says:

    I think you can be a Nice guy & get Laid as much as you want…. It all depends on whether you’ve got the right package. I believe that it’s all about Balance… A guy should know when to Work & when to be a Player, if you get carried away in one then you’ll become a Loser.

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  10. 10
    ammi Says:

    amen!!amen!!! homer

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  11. 11
    3d-lover Says:

    Now i know what my new year resolution should be…

    To cry on a girls shoulder and not let a girl cry on my shoulder. hehehe

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  12. 12
    marie Says:

    i loke that 3d-lover

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  13. 13
    marie Says:

    i like that 3d-lover

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  14. 14
    spikey Says:

    Its not that “Last guys finish last” but rather on the way to top nice guys evolved into arrogant bastards..
    we all kiss ass at some point in our life
    we all start the race with our self righteous promises
    we all have our ass kissed by someone else
    In the begining, a good man, in the end, a broken promises!!

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  15. 15
    mystic Says:

    I guess I’m the girl that Sandman knew!!

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  16. 16
    Sandman Says:

    haha! Yes, mystic is the girl I was talking about. She’s a great girl indeed, cheerful, helpful, graceful, beautiful, heartful etc etc… I only wish she’d stop eating zawngtah… or atleast eat them only during breakfast and dinner, and not munch on them the whole day :-D

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  17. 17
    apatea Says:

    sigh* you got it dude…

    the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.”

    I wish a friend (girl) of mine cud read this one :(

    anyway cheers BackWhite. Here’s to finding the ones that grew out of the rat race!!!

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  18. 18
    Joy Tonsing Says:

    really nice post

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