mi(sual).com

Dear Siamte,
It is the month of May again, and my first thought was today is your birthday again. Then I saw you smiling at me from the photograph we had taken together and it stuck me – you left this day last year. It was tough! I haven’t gotten it over it yet nor am I sure I ever will. But life lies a head of me, full of promises, victories and inevitable defeat. It’s only you who’s missing – the one I wanted to share them all with.

How could I ever forget your birthday on 25th when your body was wrecked by the cancer eating it up. You were too weak to even rise from your bed or to say ‘thank you’ when I gave your favorites chocolates but, the hopes of life I saw in your life has never left me. I wondered then where from you got your strength but now believe me, I know.

Never had I ever been a Friend (girl) anywhere before I came to Delhi and though I was wildly excited, I couldn’t help being terrified either that was when you held my hand and I saw, for the first time, leonine strength quite unassuming personality. It never fails to amaze me when you display this strength at the most disturbing times. You always were one strong little girl.
“I mohabbat you” you shouted in the corridor and I streamed “I hmangaih you”, that must have been the only times we ever said these words; but we knew we felt them in our hearts. Forever loving and praying for each other was the promise we had made- and we agreed promises are not meant to be broken……

Those ways in the nights date are one of many things I miss about not having you around. I still fall hopelessly in and out of love and made it complete, but how can I tell them you’re not around. The ‘emotional’ and ‘cheerful spirits’ are still with me, that’s why sometimes I fail to understand why you’re not. “wai wai” is still one of my favorite snacks but it is not my everyday brunch anymore. That just won’t be tasty without you around.

After farewell to friends in IGI Airport, getting lost and arriving home after midnight was one of the most scandalous things we ever did together. That was one terrifying situation but now it is a good story in my book of experience. Many in the page of this book are full of you – your laughter rings through them and I ever see your lopsided walk every now and then. These pages are dog-eared for I have flipped through them alone or when I am generous enough to share them with others.

A lot has changed with me- physically, emotionally and most of all spiritually. That last letter you wrote to me told what a blessed Christmas in bed you had.., so in contrast to mine that year. Also your sermonizing about how life just passes us by without our being aware of it brought home the truth about what this life really means and how precious it is. There’s just so many differences you’ve made in my life – we held each other when we were weak and rejoice together when in strength. I miss you so much but I know you are with me in spirit. The power of believing is in me.

You wrote “this might be the last letter ill ever write to you” and it was for always. But you can see, I haven’t stopped writing so be sure you get me loud and clear. Last year, I felt the lost of the one, my life, everything to you left avoid in my life. But now I know I can share in your victory too. So, save a place for me and ill be joining to you……. I promise

NB: Fact or conspiracy?  its upto you, You betcha’

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