Copy-Paste tawp!
Following are the actual questions from tourists and actual responses by the Indian tourism website officials, who undoubtedly have an excellent sense of humour.
Q: Does it ever get windy in India? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand kms, take lots of water.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in India? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi, Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean which does not.. oh forget it. …… Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Goa. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in India? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into India ? (U )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Indiana Pacers matches schedule? (France)
A: Indiana is a state in the Unites States of…oh forget it. Sure, the Indiana Pacers matches are played every Tuesday night in Goa, straight after the hippo races.
Q: Can I wear high heels in India? (UK)
A: You’re a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Bangalore, and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: Do you have perfume in India? (France)
A: No, WE don’t stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in India? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in India? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first
Q: Can I see Taj Mahal anytime? (Italy)
A: As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime.
Q: Do you have Toilet paper? (USA)
A: No, we use sand paper. (we have different grades)
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June 20th, 2011 at 8:10 pm
A rul tawk chiah a chhan dan a hmai lo hle mai maw.
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June 20th, 2011 at 8:10 pm
1st em mawni le hihi.. haha..
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June 20th, 2011 at 8:14 pm
Awi ah á,.., min 1st khalh k t, ho mang e…, hihi…, haha
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June 20th, 2011 at 8:18 pm
Van chhang thiam em2 ve. Bei nalh thei khawp mai a.. , k like tawp, KNH (ka nui huk) hihi.., haha..
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June 20th, 2011 at 8:19 pm
a tawp ber khi ka duh
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June 20th, 2011 at 8:24 pm
zawttu lam pang chu, blind\ignorant ve awm hlawm tiah tiah ve aw. A lo chhangtute hi an bright zek hlawm dawn khi. milk in bangalore leh Sand paper(in toilet) tih loh khi chu.
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June 20th, 2011 at 8:28 pm
Q: Doctor: “Are you ready?” A: “No, i am zail Singh”. Ka hre chhuak.
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June 20th, 2011 at 8:30 pm
Vin ho mai mai………
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June 20th, 2011 at 8:37 pm
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June 20th, 2011 at 8:37 pm
Q. Why do Indian women have red dots on their foreheads?
A. Their husbands’ fingertip prints, saying, “You are ugly, you are ugly!”
In United States …
When you see Hispanic running across the street —he crosses the Mexican border. When you see African-American sprinting along the street —he steals something. And an orient chasing that African-American —he is a Chinese businessman being robbed by that.
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June 20th, 2011 at 8:38 pm
Tha ve reng mai
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June 20th, 2011 at 8:39 pm
Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand kms, take lots of water.
Not for drinking, EK a tam lutuk zawk a!
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June 20th, 2011 at 8:49 pm
Khasi student : “Was the bell gone?”. Mizo student :” Are you blind? See, it’s still hanging there”
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June 20th, 2011 at 9:01 pm
American nu pakhat pawh in a computer chiangkuan loh vang in call centre a call a. Engineer:’First, close all the windows’. Lady:’how do you know my windows are open’? An tukverh chu a va khar ta a:P
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June 20th, 2011 at 9:04 pm
A tha hle mai. Dictionary nen ka nui.
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June 20th, 2011 at 9:31 pm
ho tak2 anih hi
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June 20th, 2011 at 10:03 pm
hippo race khi hahaha ka tan tawp
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June 20th, 2011 at 10:07 pm
A chhangtu thluak chu a tha ve mai mai!
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June 20th, 2011 at 10:56 pm
stupid foreigners
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June 20th, 2011 at 11:12 pm
Q: Do you have Toilet paper? (USA)
A: No, we use sand paper. (we have different grades)
A: No, we have thakpui hnah/vawmbal in Mizoram. han ti bawk ila haha…
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June 21st, 2011 at 12:53 am
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June 21st, 2011 at 1:08 am
A va funny hlawm mai mai e aw?
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June 21st, 2011 at 1:09 am
Van thawh tha ve aw…
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June 21st, 2011 at 6:30 am
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June 21st, 2011 at 9:22 am
Ka comment ve lo mai ang
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June 21st, 2011 at 10:42 am
@20 puakphura:
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June 21st, 2011 at 2:58 pm
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